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YOUTH 101
Gay Youth and Sexual Violence
One in six males will experience some form of sexual
violence in their lifetime, usually before the age
of 18. Research and personal disclosures indicate
that this number is higher for gay males. Along
with the violence that many gay males endure because
of homophobia (gay bashing), gay youth
can and do experience sexual violence. This can
vary from being manipulated, pressured, tricked,
or guilted into sexual encounters to threats of or
actual acts of physical violence or attacks with a
weapon. Many people within and outside the gay
community do not believe that same sex physical
and sexual violence exists. It is often considered
two men fighting (mutual battering) and because
men are socialized to be aggressive, to some extent
violent or aggressive behaviour in relationships
has become normalized. Also, due to stereotypes
about gay relationships and sexual behaviour
many people within the gay community are
reluctant to admit violence exists or ignore it because
to address it may bring further stigma and
ridicule on gay men. While men of all ages can
experience same sex violence, young gays are
more susceptible to violence. This is due to inexperience
and lack of knowledge about relationships
and isolation. Many young gay males may
have misinformed ideas about what gay sex and
dating is like and are dependent
on other men to
educate them about being
gay. If someone takes advantage
of their vunerability
and/or their first sexual experiences
are coercive, they
may think that this is what gay sex is supposed to
be like. Young men with low self esteem or who
are struggling with their sexuality may think that
they deserve to be treated this way. Due to homophobia,
silence within the gay community, geographical
isolation, lack of gay friendly resources
and support services in Nova Scotia, many gays
who experience sexual violence do not get help.
This resource was created to address the needs
and concerns of young gay males. The information,
examples, and suggestions come from Nova
Scotian gay youth and the people who work with
them.
What is Sexual Violence?
Sexual Violence occurs when you are forced into
sexual acts or situations that make you feel uncomfortable,
threatened, or vulnerable. It is
against the law for someone to commit sexual
violence. There are many forms of sexual violence.
Sexual Assault is any form of sexual activity that
occurs with out consent. Sexual assault is about
power and control, not sex and love. You can be
sexually assaulted by a stranger, someone you
know, or by more than one person.
Sexual Harassment is any behaviour, comment,
gesture or contact of a sexual nature that could
be considered offensive or threatening and affects
or ability to interact safely in your environment.
It occurs in the workplace, at home, on the
street, in bars, anywhere. You can be sexually
harassed by your friends, your boss or coworkers,
landlord, by strangers, etc.
Criminal Harassment/Stalking is behaviour that
causes you to have a reasonable fear for your
safety, or the safety of someone you know. Some
examples are being repeatedly followed,
watched, asked out, or repeatedly receiving visits,
phone calls, letters either directly or through
someone else, or actions that threaten you or
any member of your family.
What Can Be Done to Prevent or Deal
with Sexual Violence?
- If you are sexually violated, please remember
it is not your fault and you do not deserve this
kind of treatment
- Get involved with groups or programs specifically
for gay youth to access support, meet
people, have fun, and explore issues and
concerns that are relevant to you.
While there are no direct services specifically
for male survivors of violence and limited support
services for gay youth in Nova Scotia,
there are agencies and organizations that work
with youth to address issues such as drug dependency,
homelessness, violence, educational
opportunities, etc. Many of these agencies
can provide support for and recognize the
needs of gay youth so don’t be afraid to access
them.
- It is important to address
violence because youth
who experience violence
can be at risk of other
concerns such as suicide,
drug dependency,
problems with school, work, relationships, long
term emotional issues, and may become abusive
themselves. If you have been sexually
assaulted, tell someone you trust. Keep telling
until someone hears and supports you. You
deserve to be helped.
- To get more information about this issue, resources,
and to find out how to access support
services contact Avalon Sexual Assault Centre
and the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual Youth Project.
The Youth project can also provide general
phone and one on one support and advocacy.
Both agencies can refer you to gay friendly
counselors and support services.
TRUE OR FALSE
1. All gay men are sexual predators or child
molesters.
False. However, just like some straight males,
some gay males abuse trust and authority to
sexually violate someone and get a sense of
power by committing acts of sexual violence.
2. Gay men only think about having sex and
are not interested in long term relationships
with one person.
False. There is a misconception that homosexuals
are just out to have sex with as many people
as possible and anyone who believes that may
feel pressured into sexual situations they are not
ready for or do not want. They also miss out on
other aspects of exploring their sexual identity
and relationships. There are many gay men who
are living within loving, stable relationships in
which sex is an expression of their love and commitment
to each other. Sex is only a part of the
relationship. Even for gays who are not in long
term relationships, sex is only part of their experience
as a gay man.
3. Bars, public washrooms, or Citadel Hill are the
only places in Halifax to meet gay men.
False. This myth only perpetuates the stereotypes
about gay relationships and sex and may
pressure some people into
unwanted activities (drinking,
public sex). While some men
do meet men in these places
there are other environments
in which gay men meet.
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