• 1 in 5 male students said that forced intercourse was all right “if he spends money on her”, “if he is stoned or drunk”, or “if they had been dating for a long time”.
• (Johnson, 1996)

Trends in Youth Sexual Violence

These are some examples of the types of unwanted sexual experiences Avalon is aware of youth in Nova Scotia experiencing:

• Adult men targeting teenage girls over the age of consent (age 14) for sexual purposes (on line or in public)
• Young women being encouraged or coerced by their boyfriends or male friends to strip or perform sexual acts for or in front of other males (sometimes in exchange for money or “presents”
• Young women threatened with personal violence and/or loss of personal property if not complying with sexual coercion
• Young males sexually violated during drug buys, during fights, and/or sports/group hazing rituals
• Young men perceived to by gay sexually assaulted as part of “gay bashing”
• “Lip Stick Parties” – Young women put on different colored lipstick and see how far they can circle a penis with their mouths
• Young women being sexually assaulted by one or more people while unconscious
• Sexual conquest contests – young men have contests regarding sexual activities with often unsuspecting young women
• Youth being groomed by pedophiles and/or for prostitution
• Youth continue to experience various levels of sexual harassment, stalking, bullying, and peer pressure related to dating/sexual activity
• The use of drugs and/or alcohol to commit sexual violence
• Breach of trust – sexual harassment or assault by an adult in a position of trust and/or authority

Taking a critical look at our relationships:
Pressure and violence in youth dating relationships

The following aspects of adolescent relationships are not meant as insults to our relationships; they are a reality for many of us. Some of these aspects are reasons why dating violence, acquaintance sexual assault, and homophobic behaviours are still prevalent in our society. This is a critical look at why some (not all) of us get into and stay in relationships that are unhealthy.

• The social demands of adolescence dictate that a girl should have a boyfriend.
• Peer pressure and the fear of being different motivates conformity to peer norms.
• Gender role definitions are usually stereotypical with very little flexibility.
• Pressures to continually prove we fit these stereotypes may lead to exaggerated behaviours. (e.g. independence from family, jock, popular, attractive)
• Need for acceptance and affection.
• Feeling that we can handle anything.
• Fear of losing a relationship.
• Assumptions or expectations based on race or ethnic background.
• Little or no knowledge of what constitutes an unhealthy or abusive relationship.
• Feeling that abusive situations happen to others but will never happen to us.
• Many of us are just starting to experiment with drugs and alcohol, so we have little experience with them. Alcohol is a factor in many dating sexual assaults.
• A feeling that adults overreact because they don’t understand.
• Failure to “set limits” ahead of time that would allow us to avoid problem situations.
• Pressure on males to date many women to prove their manhood.
• Young women whose first male partners are three or more years older than them may not question unhealthy, risky or violent incidents because they were committed by an older more experienced partner.
• (adapted from “Aspects specific to adolescent relationships”)

Why does dating sexual assault happen?

Sex means different things to men and women.
Women generally think of sex in terms of romance and love. Women may want to be affectionate without wanting to have sex. Men generally see sex as a natural end to fooling around with someone. If either party doesn’t understand this, there is room for miscommunication leading to date or acquaintance rape.

Myths….
Many men and women believe in the myths that are taught to us as we grow up. People sometimes feel that clothes, attitude, miscommunication, and other factors may be reasons to believe that someone is willing to have sex.

A sense of immunity to date rape.
Women are taught that it is strangers who rape them, not the men they know. Many women are raised to expect men to protect and care for them. They don’t believe that these people would do anything to harm them.
Women are usually taught to protect themselves from strangers, especially when they are walking alone on dark streets, and secluded places. They are not taught to protect themselves in their homes with people they know and trust, even though this is how most sexual assaults happen.

Women and men have been raised differently.
Women are socialized to be more passive and dependent than men. They are expected to be nurturing and caring. They are reprimanded for expressing their feelings forcefully or hurting the feelings of others. Men are taught, and expected, to do just this. The extent to which a man is considered “manly” or “macho” is determined by how many sports he plays, how many fights he gets into, and how many women he can sleep with. Men are encouraged to have strong sexual feelings and experiment sexually, as opposed to women who are not encouraged to explore their sexuality. This is why men are most likely to be the aggressors.
Lack of communication.
Women and men are not encouraged to talk openly about their sexuality with each other. As a result, consent may be assumed by either person without verbally discussing it. They look for physical cues, and act on them. Unfortunately, these can very easily be misinterpreted. People may see the way a woman dresses, the fact that she was drunk or high, or even that they were into kissing and stuff, as a go- ahead for sex. Women may not see it this way at all.
Little or no consequences.
Some people are so set in their beliefs that they don’t realize they are committing a crime. Others convince themselves that they have just had ‘rough sex’ or convinced their partner “a little.” A man who is aware he applied pressure or force usually counts on the fact that his partner will not make trouble, that she will share the blame, or feel that she asked for it. This is especially true when the partner is doing something that she isn’t supposed to be doing like drinking, doing drugs, being at a party, etc.
Some people knowingly commit date rape.
As with all rapes, date rape is sometimes an expression of anger against women. Some people are also excited by forced or violent sexual activity. Forcing sex may make them feel strong, powerful and in control. Others just think that it is their right to expect sex from a date.

Self-Blame.
Some people may give in to sexual pressure or blame themselves for the sexual assault especially if they were flirting, drinking, doing drugs, etc. People are less likely to report dating sexual assault because they figure that others will blame them as well.
(adapted from “Lindsay’s Story” by the Mississauga Hospital Sexual Assault Team)

Factors Involved in Sexual Assault during Orientation Week & First Year University
Sexual assault can happen at any time, any place and to anyone. There are, however, issues that make the occurrence of sexual assault more common during Orientation Week and first year university. People who commit sexual assault do so by taking advantage of situations in which they know they have relatively little chance of getting caught.
Listed below are some of the factors that make acquaintance sexual assault more common to university students during Orientation Week and during first year university:

• New to the setting: Students may not be familiar with the layout of campus or its buildings, or the layout of the new town or city. Students may be unfamiliar with people and situations they encounter.
• Away from old supports: If something happens, students may feel that they don’t have anyone to talk to. They may feel scared and alone.
• Peer pressure: People want to be accepted, which makes reputations very important. Students may be more willing to do things they ordinarily would not because of the pressure to fit in.
• Experimenting with everything: First year university is the time a lot of students experiment with drugs, alcohol, sex, sexuality, personalities, friends, independence, etc.
• Alcohol and drugs: These are not excuses for sexual assault, but they are involved in many situations surrounding sexual assault. Sexual assault is more common when alcohol and drugs are involved because people’s inhibitions and communication skills are diminished and people are more willing to do and say things, or be in places they ordinarily would not, when sober. People try to use alcohol and drugs as an excuse for inappropriate or irresponsible behaviour. If something traumatic happens to someone when they are drinking or taking drugs they may be hesitant to report it because of the legal repercussions, self blame, or fear of what other will think.
• Invincibility: As youth, there is a part of us that believes nothing can happen to us, that it always happens to the other person. This perception leads us to do things that may not always be safe.
• Need directions/friends/supports: Again, people want to be accepted and make new friends. Values and beliefs that people hold may come second to having friends and feeling accepted.
• Vulnerability: As a result of the factors described above, university students are vulnerable to being sexually assaulted and committing sexual assault. It is important to understand that regardless of these factors, or any other ones, there is never an excuse or reason for committing sexual assault. If you are sexually assaulted,
• Sexual Assault is a crime and is Punishable under the Criminal Code of Canada. Any act of a sexual nature (kissing, fondling, oral/anal/vaginal penetration of any kind or with anything, etc.) that one person does to another, or has another person do to them, without consent, is Sexual Assault. It is Illegal.

Sexual Assault is never the fault of the victim

The Perpetrator is 100% responsible for their actions.

Resources

• Avalon Centre Website www.avaloncentre.ca
• Youth Peer Violence Prevention Project: A Peer Education Training Curriculum on Dating Violence and Healthy Relationships, Avalon Centre 1997
• The Empowerment Project: A Train-the Trainer Tool-Kit, Fredericton Sexual Assault Crisis Centre, 2003, (506) 454-0460
• A Community Handbook: Increasing Awareness About Sexual Violence and Support for Survivors Through Community-Directed Action, Fredericton Sexual Assault Crisis Centre, 2003, (506) 454-0460